The release of Life Crisis: the Mindful Way coincides with the anniversary of my mother’s death (and yes, we know there are no coincidences!). Every book has a life of its own, a story of its own. My latest offering has involved a beautiful healing journey for me at the personal level.
My mother passed over eight years ago in circumstances that were traumatic for me. Until recently I was still carrying a huge amount of grief and guilt over her death. It was more than I could cope with so I had stored it away, at the back of the filing cabinet, under ‘Too Painful To Go There’.
Just a few weeks ago I was on retreat, a three-week retreat at Plum Village in France. The retreat ran from 1-21 June, my mother’s birthday being 11 June. I suspected some of that stored grief might come to visit me on her birthday. As it turned out, it came up a few days before. I spent a couple of hours drowning in it, overwhelmed by the torment that my relationship with my mother had become in the last few years of her life.
And then mindfulness performed its miracle. The depth of the practice is such at Plum Village that it had been really supporting my own practice. I remembered, in my drowning state, to ask myself ‘what is present right now in my experience?’. All the haunting memories and flashbacks were from eight years ago, some even longer than that. They were not happening right now at Plum Village. As I asked myself that question, I heard the birds singing, the same beautiful birdsong that had brought me such joy just a few hours earlier when I woke up in my tent.
I realised that nothing in my external circumstances had changed. I was still in a beautiful retreat centre, surrounded by nature and kind, loving people. In that instant all the pain, all the guilt, all the suffering melted away. For the first time in a very long time I’m able to feel love for my mother, simple, straightforward warmth and affection.
I’m a seasoned enough practitioner to know that in the future there may be more layers to heal but for now a huge burden has been lifted. I feel released from the grip of the past, from the grip of a relationship that carried so much complexity and wounding.
Of the many personal stories and anecdotes in Life Crisis: the Mindful Way I also share how my mindfulness practice helped me cope at the time of that traumatic bereavement.
I’m delighted to be sharing a FREE SAMPLE of Chapter 1. And, of course, we’ll have lots of goodies over the coming weeks. So keep an eye out for interviews, giveaways of free copies, my guest blog posts AND an exciting free online event! You’ll need to sign up to my mailing list if you haven’t already.
There’s also a fairly rare opportunity to come for a one-day retreat with me in August in Cheltenham, in the UK (see my last blog post). I don’t offer many of these and after my wonderful three weeks at Plum Village I’m very much looking forward to sharing that day with you.
My mother passed over eight years ago in circumstances that were traumatic for me. Until recently I was still carrying a huge amount of grief and guilt over her death. It was more than I could cope with so I had stored it away, at the back of the filing cabinet, under ‘Too Painful To Go There’.
Just a few weeks ago I was on retreat, a three-week retreat at Plum Village in France. The retreat ran from 1-21 June, my mother’s birthday being 11 June. I suspected some of that stored grief might come to visit me on her birthday. As it turned out, it came up a few days before. I spent a couple of hours drowning in it, overwhelmed by the torment that my relationship with my mother had become in the last few years of her life.
And then mindfulness performed its miracle. The depth of the practice is such at Plum Village that it had been really supporting my own practice. I remembered, in my drowning state, to ask myself ‘what is present right now in my experience?’. All the haunting memories and flashbacks were from eight years ago, some even longer than that. They were not happening right now at Plum Village. As I asked myself that question, I heard the birds singing, the same beautiful birdsong that had brought me such joy just a few hours earlier when I woke up in my tent.
I realised that nothing in my external circumstances had changed. I was still in a beautiful retreat centre, surrounded by nature and kind, loving people. In that instant all the pain, all the guilt, all the suffering melted away. For the first time in a very long time I’m able to feel love for my mother, simple, straightforward warmth and affection.
I’m a seasoned enough practitioner to know that in the future there may be more layers to heal but for now a huge burden has been lifted. I feel released from the grip of the past, from the grip of a relationship that carried so much complexity and wounding.
Of the many personal stories and anecdotes in Life Crisis: the Mindful Way I also share how my mindfulness practice helped me cope at the time of that traumatic bereavement.
I’m delighted to be sharing a FREE SAMPLE of Chapter 1. And, of course, we’ll have lots of goodies over the coming weeks. So keep an eye out for interviews, giveaways of free copies, my guest blog posts AND an exciting free online event! You’ll need to sign up to my mailing list if you haven’t already.
There’s also a fairly rare opportunity to come for a one-day retreat with me in August in Cheltenham, in the UK (see my last blog post). I don’t offer many of these and after my wonderful three weeks at Plum Village I’m very much looking forward to sharing that day with you.
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